Everything follows

This was originally written as a facebook note on September 22, 2009

Last Saturday, I went to a Rangers game with Blake and my family, and there was a MercyMe pregame concert. Josh Hamilton spoke before the concert. He started off by asking everyone if they heard about his incident in January. He talked about it and said that things were going great until he put his relationship with the Lord off to the wayside.  He then got into trouble, and his alcohol addiction got the better of him. The theme of his talk was that our first priority in life should be a relatioinship with Christ. I pondered those words but never truly realized what he meant until now.

I have had a darn lot of school going through these first couple of weeks, including lots of late nights doing random things and procrastinating only to find that I was way behind. I recently got a new phone, and I have been using the calendar to plan my stuff in advance, but I always fall short. I have a couple short devotionals for the morning and I try to pray at night but too often I just skim over them just to check them off the list. I was not whole heartedly doing it. I would always ask God for help one day and think I could do it all on my own the next. I never truly dove in, and I have been struggling with what all of the problems in the world are because of. These days Christians argue about everything from Abortion to Death Sentances to healthcare and everything in between along with the rest of America. We are trying to find truth but often avoid the only source of truth - God. That is when I realized, like Josh Hamilton said, everything fell apart once he walked away from God. That kind of ties into the story of Peter walking on the water until he took his eyes off of Jesus, his source of strength. We CAN get through all of the hard times, but their is one thing we need to do. Only one thing. Keep our eyes on Jesus.

Guys, we need to wake up, we say that Christianity is a relationship with God and not a religion, but are we living that out? Do we talk to God every day, and rely on him as our refuge and strength? Do we have a true relationship with him? Or do we just go through the motions? Are we truly trying to conform to Christs image or trying to conform Christ into our image? We all fight against saying "Jesus take the wheel." I believe that this is the biggest crutch to Christianity, that people are complacent and go through out their daily lives and do not strive for their relationship with God. Isn't it funny how we say we do not need God, and then when things go wrong we blame him? Maybe it is our fault that everything is falling apart because we walk away from him.

By definition, Christian means Christ follower, how can we follow Christ if we do not even know him? How can we support a politician if we do not even know what he supports? It is the same way with Christ. St. Augustine said that he believed that the true mark of a christian was a desire for knowledge about him. Do you know what Jesus is about and what he supports?

Dr. Lewis's sermon was about how people long for amusement, but do not realize that they want adventure. We spend lots of time watching TV, listening to music, and playing games for amusement. But we long also for adventure. True adventure comes when we truly believe that Christ Jesus can change lives and when we let go and ask us to use him in the world. You want to be real? Emptied inside? You want to be someone someday? How do we do that? We need to lay it all down before the King.

Have you ever noticed that the most exciting times and fulfilling times in life are Choir Tours, Mission Trips, and Celebrations? Do you know why? Cause we have Jesus time, we go out and do the work of Jesus. That is when true fulfillment comes. When we are close to the Lord and have a relationship with him.

In the end I want to say that your life follows from your relationship with Christ. When we follow God and pursue a relationship with him, and follow his will and speak with him, then everything else in life will fall into place. I can not speak of how much this means. This is what will change the world, the LOVE of Christ and a relationship with him.

My life song right now is Whatever you're doing (something heavenly) by Sanctus Real http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZayut9i45M

I am not tagging anyone. I believe that people who need to see it will. Feel free to comment in ANY way you like. If this resonates with you, tell other people about it. I am not going to try and get you to read something that you do not care about. But the only way this will get out is if you spread the word. I am going to let you make that decision.  As a side note, when I originally wrote this, the right people did end up hearing this message.  Coincidence?  I'll let you decide that for yourself.

All things work together

This was originally written as a facebook note on March 24, 2009

At the end of last year, 2008, I had a choice to make. I had just signed up for a recreational basketball team, and I many conflicts with our scheduled games. I also wanted to go to Celebration, a church camp that was on MLK weekend. We were also going skiing the first weekend in January. My schedule was packed.

I asked my parents if I could go to Celebration, but they noted that if I went I would miss the first three games out of eight for the basketball team. We were definitely going skiing, so that was one game I was going to miss. Celebration made me miss one game, and the other game was missed due to the training of Celebration. So we decided that celebration would not be a good idea after all. However, that was not God’s plan.

So around church, when someone asked if I was going to celebration, I told them no. I thought I was going to another church retreat two weeks later. But then I realized that I had my piano theory test on that weekend. I was kind of bummed out that I could not go to either.

In Allen, Texas, the buzz around town was the high school football team, the Eagles. They had made it to state and were doing very well. They won their semifinal game and were going to the championship game. Fortunately, the final game was scheduled for the weekend of my first basketball. Since the Allen band is massive, many players on the basketball team were going. Therefore, Allen canceled the games for that weekend.

I jumped on the chance, and asked Mom again if I could sign up. After some discussing, I sent in my form on the last night to register. I had a great weekend at the camp, and really grew in my relationship with God along with other people. It wasn’t until next week at bible study, that I truly understood the situation. We started off by talking about how things are not always as they seem. My mother, who was helping to lead, commented on the situation. She said it was like God was saying, “Let’s get our priorities straight” and that it was meant for me to go. Things really worked out for good.

Another example comes to mind when I think of things working out. Over spring break, we had gone to Mexico on a mission trip for our church three times before. We did not go last year because of the timing of spring break, which was over Easter, and we wanted to spend some time together with my Dad. So in the spring, were all pumped up to go to Mexico. The Sunday before the trip however, it was decided by the elders that going to Mexico was not a smart thing to do because of all the violence, especially with all of the young kids going.

When my mom came home to tell me, I was very disappointed and was thinking, “How could we let our fear rule over us like this?” My parents reassured me that everything was going to be all right and maybe this was part of the plan. Later that week, on Wednesday, we found out that my great grandfather had just died. Then things started to make sense. My grandfather had been in pain for the last week or so, so our family was very worried. On top of that, my Grandmother was also very worried about us going to Mexico during these violent times. After looking back, we probably would not have gone to Mexico anyways. So through all this my Mom went up with my grandmother to comfort her on the trip. This was a real blessing. It would have been really hectic to figure out what to do about the mission trip.

One more blessing is that I get to go on the choir tour now!!! Not going to Mexico opened up some of the funds so that I could go. I was not originally going to go on the choir tour, partly because of how expensive it was during the tough economic times. I am excied to go now.

So what’s the point? By now I have learned that when you cannot go to something or really want to go, but can’t. If you trust in the Lord and thrust that he has a plan. Just watch very closely and everything will work out. Surely I learned more in the celebration situation than I would have if I would have pushed my parents more and really got on them to let me go and complain. I am sure I could have convinced them. But I took their direction and listened to them. When the choir tour situation came up, I thought about pushing my parents, but decided to let everything work itself out. And it did. You may not always see it, but "we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." -Romans 8:28

Songs

This was originally written as a facebook note on March 1, 2009

Hey I just wanted to say a few things that I have been thinking about lately.

So this past week I have been practicing the piano a lot. I played three ragtime pieces pieces, two of which I had to learn in the span of three weeks. Now those of you who have heard of Scott Joplin, know that his music is pretty hard to learn, so that was hard only having three weeks. Of the two songs that I learned quickly, I did not play my best. But no sweat, I only had three weeks, so I did not feel bad. I just did not quite have them in my fingers yet. My third piece I had known for a while, so I did pretty good on that one.

But wait, I am talking too much about me, let me get to whom I am really talking about.

So on saturday I had my hymn festival for piano, for which I learned three pieces for. As I was practicing on saturday before the festival, I had a bad go around with one song. I was frustrated, but then it dawned on me.

When doing anything that requires a good performance, one is bound to mess up a few times. But guess what-God still loves you. Whenever you play a song on an instrument, and mess up a few times, just because of those mess ups, don't feel bad. It is a good analogy for life. The mistakes in your lifesong, as put by casting crowns, is not going to be perfect. But guess what-God still accepts you. As long as your song is praising God in everything, he will still embrace you. As I thought about that at the piano, I thought, wow. What an amazing God. On saturday at my festival, I felt remarkably comfortable at my festival, I was not nervous. There was one thought running through my mind-just praise God with your music, and everything will be alright. 'Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy.' - Psalm 33:3.

If you guys look at my music collection, almost all of it is Christian Contemporary music. Sure I listen to other music sometimes, but secular music just doesn't seem to have as much substance as christian music. Jeremy Camp, TobyMac, Chris Tomlin, and other guys like them, they play enjoyable music while praising God, what more could you ask for.

Back to Shrove Tuesday, when I started to play my first song, everyone started clapping. That was so awesome that people back me up. Then after I played the song that I knew well, I did pretty well, and everyone, including Mary Ann , Hannah, and Jordan in the balcony and everyone else was applauding, you could see the big smile on my face. It is those fulfilling experiences that keep me going. I love my church, and everyone who backs up people, even when talented musicians like Matthew, Ethan, Richard, and Jeremy do make a few mistakes, as all humans do, these wonderful people still applaud their God-given talents, just as the Lord would want them too. That is also why I love singing in the choir, our music director, Mr. Hays, and the rest of the choir do an awesome job of praising God through our music. This is why sunday mornings are such a refreshing part of my life, between choir practice and sunday school and service, they all work to make my day a good day while praising God for all he has done.

Like the live 3:16 band and the song we sung in choir-Be Still and Know that He is God. As I take lent and use that time to reflect, like pastor Stacy said in Live 3:16 service, as I take this time in lent to reflect over my life, I smile over the good influences. While, like Jeremy said on ash wednesday, although giving things up for lent is good, what we should really strive for is a closer relationship with God. That is what I am going to do for lent, take 15 minutes every day to be still, reflect, and know that He is God, and He is holy. (Now I want to go and buy that song by Steven Curtis Chapman)

Now I hope that I and every other person would always remember, God loves us just for just who we our, and the unique way that we praise him. As long as you are praising God, every song is worthwhile.

August 2010 Celebration and following through

This was originally written as a facebook note on August 14, 2010

So I usually write a note right after celebration, but this time I waited a little bit later. Ultreya sparked some memories, so I decided to go ahead and write.

First of all, I wanted to say that I had a great time being in a family. My first celebration staffing I wanted to be in a family, but was chosen for caritas. As you can read in one of my previous notes, I still had a great time doing caritas and loved it. I was music for #8 and #9, and loved that too. However, since I knew that we had some guitar players, I figured I would sign up for a family. It was great.

Last Tuesday I went golfing (as a side note, I must say that I am pretty sure Jesus can help my golf game also, cause I got two pars in the same round!!!) I got to thinking, our lives are a lot like a game of golf. Golf is a game that requires a lot of perseverance and concentration. You have to be able to concentrate and take your best swing on every shot. And even then a momentary lapse can put you out of bounds. And for those of you that know anything about golf, it is a lot more complicated than just swinging a club. There are several things that you have to remember for every shot. Similarly, life isn't that easy either. There are so many things to remember on each day of your life. The way you swing at a certain situation in life may put you in the rough, but you have to go ahead and take another swing. You may make a great shot and get lucky, maybe even a whole in one, but you inevitably have to come down from that high. How you respond to adversity is the real thing. You are going to get stuck in the bunkers or go into the water, but, by God's grace, you always have another chance.

So I have to say I always have a great celebration. It is so great to be in a community with you guys and worship together, and do awesome stuff with each other and everything else. I really love the way everyone is so relaxed around each other and really loves their neighbor. I also had a great time doing my talk. To understand what I am to say in this paragraph, you should definitely read my note that I wrote after NTC #9. I really tried to mirror what I said when writing my Jesus Christ talk last time. Actually, one memory that kept coming back to my mind was at #9, when I prayed for a friend right before she did her reality talk, and she prayed that she would just be a vessell for God to speak through, which I believe is a scripture verse somewhere. Anyways, as you read in my talk, that wasn't always the easiest thing to do, so often we want to put our own agendas into what we speak to others. I really tried hard when writing my talk to just set time aside to just write what God wanted to speak through me. And talks are a whole lot better when you strive to speak God's words rather than man's words. We all do not make our own light, we only reflect the light of our Creator, and anything we try to do outside of him is foolishness.

Celebration ended about a week ago. You were on a mountain top, and no doubt, like myself, you are lower know than you were a week ago. Not super low, but lower than at Gilmont. In fact, on monday or tuesday, I probably would have written a better, more inspiring note than I am now. And that happens inevitably, we all have highs and lows. But you have a choice. You can let life get you down, or you can fight that and strive to be a person more in tune with God. Do not forget how you felt at Celebration. Do not let that feeling fade away. In my mind, if Celebration or any other major spiritual experience does not make some sort of change in your everyday life, than all Celebration is is just another weekend spent doing something fun. So, as you think back, look for ways to strive to follow Jesus' life better every day.

January 2010 Celebration and the Spirit at Work

This was originally written as a facebook note on January 19, 2009

I am always touched by Celebration, but something was different this time. This weekend I was head music gopher, which was a lot of work. I also had to do a talk on prayer and piety. I believe God has blessed me with the gift of leadership, and I try to use that. I really try and say what affects people the most. Sometimes, though I try too hard and too much. Everything that really touched me was not what I said, but what others said that was exactly what I wanted others to hear and what I needed to hear. I will try and say what I said at closing without stopping to cry every few seconds. :) So like I said, when I first went into the upper room to put my footwashing stuff up there, I got chills. Rev. Krummenacher, who also was spiritual advisor at my first celebration, was the same at #8. I had a good feel for him, and I did footwashing with Lizzie, and it was an amazing experience. I was moved, and I felt like I had it all under control this weekend. But that was the problem. After the first rotation, I was confused because Dr. Parr would talk during the middle of a song. I realized something, I am flexible when it comes to me being in control but not when others are in control, even God. So after the first rotation, I talked with Mr. Parr and said that I would play one song before and other stuff, and he responded by just saying that he was being led by the spirit to talk whenever the moment arose. Of course, I was not going to argue, but I was still uncomfortable. If I would have had it my way, we would have always done Sanctuary last, and the theme sone when they were walking in, but slowly, I started to feel calm. The spirit started to move. I would change up the order a little, sometimes I would randomly be going through and find a song that just needed to be played. After the third one, I just smiled afterwards and Mr. Parr could tell what I was feeling and said just let the spirit work. Annalise started praying the most beautiful prayers, and not through any of her own doing, but by the sprit's lead. When Elise came in to sing with me after Sarah, she was worried that she would not sing the right note and stuff, but I was way too calm to worry with her, all I tried to do was be calm and just do what God wanted to do. Elise, you started to become calmer also. I was becoming calm. The spirit was moving. Then the caritas group came in. I look forward to them since I know most of them. There were a lot of people and so it took a long time to do footwashing for everyone. I went on through the songs, and I started doing sanctuary, even though I did not feel that it would be the last song. So we sang through the first second and third verses, and by the time we went back to the beginning, I did not know when they would end footwashing. A few people had moved around so I did not know how far we were to being done. But the spirit was moving. So we did the first verse once more, then went up a step, then, through the spirit, I played one last chord, and we sang it one more time a capella. Ten seconds later, the last person was done and every one stood up. The spirit was in control. I put down my guitar, and walked up to join the circle, as we finished Sanctuary. Then Annalise made an amazing prayer, and I was in tears.

I also had been worrying about what to say during closing before the weekend. I did not trust that God was going to give me something, but he did. God was still speaking. When Annalise and Brad did their talk, they said exactly what I thought I wanted to say. God had given me the words to speak on that weekend, and I finally answered him and said what he wanted to.
In the end guys, I have been changed. Nothing I will say will affect others, only God opens hearts with his holy spirit. And that is what Dr. Parr pushed me too. Everything I thought others should hear was said, but not by me. God wanted me to say what he wanted to say, not what I wanted to say. For we walk by faith and not by sight. The only way I can truly change others for the better is to listen to him calling.

August 2009 Celebration and My Part of my Calling

This was originally written as a facebook note on August 3, 2010

I just want to tell you how great Celebration was for me and my call.

So before the weekend I was wondering what I was going to be and I found out from a secret source that I was going to lead worship by playing guitar. I had a super super super awesome time playing the music team.  I was a little nervous at first, but as the weekend went on I became more and more relaxed and felt like this was home. (I am going to go listen to that switchfoot song now). My really big revelation was when I played for footwashing with Lizzie, our piano player. I played for 2 hours straight pretty much, and by the end my fingers were numb. As the night went on, I felt more in tune with God as the small groups kept rolling through.  Leda and Brad and some of the adults realized I became more passionate in my worship and sang louder as the night went on, as did Lizzie. I really have been thinking about what I want to do in life and what my calling is and just finding out what I love doing, and wouldn't you know it, Celebration came right at the right time. It is amazing how things work out, isn't it? And it really cemented into my brain when Mary and Jared were talking about how natural I was at it, which I did not realize, but now I realize that this is part of my calling and I am very passionate about it.  It's amazing how God uses people mike Mary and Jared to show me the way through life, it is just amazing and I am overhelmed.

January 2009 Celebration Church Retreat

For those of you who are going 'Celebration, what the heck is that?', Celebration is a youth church retreat that I have participated in and staffed several times.  I am posting a few notes that I had written after celebration. If you want to find out more about it go to North Texas Celebration's Web Page.  This was originally written as a facebook note on January 26, 2009

 I was kind of dissapointed because I asked to be a family gopher and instead they put me on caritas. It wasn't a big deal, but I really enjoy small group activities. But then I thought, you know maybe I was put on Caritas for a reason, I will just trust that it is in God's plan.


CARITAS WAS AWESOME!!! It was so fun to pray in the middle of the night and sort caritas and hand out warm fuzzies, I really enjoyed it. I am really glad that I just decided to go along with the flow. I think the thing I liked most was just getting to hang out with the participants and staff. I really like how everyone at celebration has the attitude that serving God and doing spiritual things can be a whole lot of fun, they do not have to be super serious, as long as your heart is in the right place. It is so liberating to stand in wonder in God's grace at one minute, and then laughing with your freinds the next. I think some people miss out on that kind of joyful, loving, and just Jesustastic kind of laughter. I also learned a lot about God's relationship with other's too. I guess this is common, but sometimes I have a hard time imagining other's having a relationship with God like I did. But after reading the stuff in the prayer journal and in other ways, I really had some insight in to the spiritual lives of us teenagers. It really amazing to connect with people our age through our relationship with Jesus.


I also learned a few things about myself. First of all, its wierd, physical pain will not make me cry at all, but I cried like three times at celebration. Second, like I talked about at closing, I think I have overcome looking at the outside of people. Whenever I feel like shunning someone because of the outside, I remember celebration and how I overcame that. You guys are awesome!!!! After closing, I was like REALLY REALLY happy. I felt like bursting out IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE ALIVE. I actually did, with some help from others. It is amazing how much better and more joyful you feel when filled with Christ's love than that kind of fake happiness that comes with the possession of material things.