None of these differences between this semester and last are due to an unnatural progression. But why do I feel so much tension? To be unfortunately negative again, why do I feel like I am personally experiencing such theological doctrines such as the ultimate depravity of man and motivated to create new doctrines like the inherent laziness of man? Why do I feel so much tension, and why am I so negative?
Maybe it's because I hate conflict. I know my Dad also has this characteristic. When people disagree, both he and I tend to shy away from the situation and find a more amiable conversation.
Maybe it's because I was homeschooled. Maybe attending a public or private school for the majority of your life prepares you for the messiness of life in a community. Maybe these events that I am experiencing in college are normal, and it just took me until college to experience them.
Maybe it's because I have never had friends close enough to now their deep faults. Maybe, with smaller numbers of possible close friends around me, and friendships mostly set up because of our parents' friendships, I never got the true opportunity to start in a new situation and truly choose my friends among a plethora of people.
While I really do not know exactly what is causing my frustration, I do know one thing. I am losing my faith in human beings. Even Christian ones at a Christian college. Of course in principle, I know faith is supposed to be in God, but I have shown faith in human beings through my actions.
Surely the great moral person I see myself as could not be guilty of a sin like idolatry?
Yes, I could be guilty.
This sin of having faith in people is not excluded to just me. Sometimes I think even Christians put some of their faith in people, especially the great theologians of the past. People like Martin Luther and John Calvin have been put on a very high pedestal by some Christians. Since they were so awesome, it only makes sense to conclude that they were right on every single doctrinal issue. Yet, according to what I know, Luther seemed to believe in a form of baptismal regeneration and John Calvin believed in what is called 'double predestination', two views that many find repulsive and/or contrary to scripture. On the internet, I have seen people mention these negative aspects about these two men, and proceed to discredit much of their other work just because of one fault in their doctrine. Does this come out of an assumption that theologians must be perfect? It makes me wonder: did God allow even these men to have faults? What if their faults were supposed to imply that even Christians are not perfect, no matter how great?
No one is good - truly perfect - but God alone.
So why do I feel depressed when people seem to be someone worse than I thought they were? Do I have too much faith in humans; namely, the ones who have the special label of Christian?
The Bible says we should only hope, trust, believe, and have faith in the Savior and only the Savior. There is no other name or person under heaven, on the whole earth, who will save us from our sin, malice, greed, and depression. I have come to realize that there is only one solution to humanity's problem: Christ IN us, the hope of glory (Colossians 1:27).
Listen to this song by Peter Furler to understand what I am talking about.
When I first listened to this album by Furler, this song really stuck out to me. It has a simple message, and a simple tune, yet it really proves that scripture best speaks to us.
Scripture also speaks to us through our brothers and sisters in Christ. To provide a case in point, right after I finished the previous paragraph, I had to leave to go to lunch and then class. In my Intro to Engineering Class, my professor also used Colossians 1:27 in his devotional. Obviously, God was trying to teach me a lesson through that Bible verse. Let me share that lesson with you.
My observations about the faults and sins of the people around me are in no way invalid. This is not some issue about my close friends or the people that I do not get along with or the people that irritate me sometimes. This is a human issue, an issue that, as I said earlier, frustrated and continues to frustrate me. As I have come to find, it is a massively practical issue. There is often nothing glorious in the natural man of humanity. That is why the Bible states that it is not us, but Christ in us that is man's only hope for glory, that is, splendor in the way we act and treat other people. Colossians is filled with references to the power we have that makes us able to bear fruit and do good works. This power only comes through the Holy Spirit, who convicts us of our sins and allows us to work for the Kingdom of God.
Don't put your trust in humanity like I do. Put your trust in the One who gives humanity the power that they need. This power motivates us to hard work and encourages us to look beyond our feelings to the things that need to be done in this world. And this power cannot be overcome.
GREATER IS HE THAT IS IN US, THAN HE THAT IS IN THE WORLD
